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We hope it's not for long.
We hope it's not for long.
An amazing book I read early on in my marriage is essentially a key element of my business. The book is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and while it is focused around “how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate,” I have found it really applies to how I express love in all of my relationships.
According to Chapman, the five love languages are
- Words of Affirmation: “The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate.
- Quality Time: “A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity…Togetherness has to do with focused attention.”
- Receiving Gifts: “A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, ‘Look, he was thinking of me,’ or, ‘[They] remembered me.’ You must be thinking of someone to give [them] a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it cost money….Gifts are visual symbols of love.”
- Acts of Service: “Our actions are influenced by the model of our parents, our own personality, our perceptions of love, our emotions, needs, and desires…Love is a choice and cannot be coerced…make requests of each other rather than demands.”
- Physical Touch: “Emotionally [someone who needs physical touch] yearn[s] for their spouse to reach out and touch them physically. Running the hand through the hair, giving a back rub, holding hands, embracing…all of those and other ‘love touches’ are the emotional lifeline of the person for whom physical touch is the primary love language.”
Do you know what your love languages are? I found that when Chapman wrote, “People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need,” that it helped ME understand my own love language(s) better. With a lot of time spent thinking about this topic, I additionally came to feel like I speak (aka: give) a different love language than I find I need to hear (aka: receive). I speak in the love language of gifts but I receive love most through words of affirmation–and that’s fluid with all relationships.
Throughout my store, you’ll see references to these love languages and it’s merely meant to encourage you as well as myself! As I continue to grow in self understanding and self love, I strive to love outwardly in the ways that those I care about need, too. If I keep these concepts close to heart, I hope to find small ways to continue to refuel myself and spread love out. I hope you can find that same thing here, too!
