My oldest started kindergarten a week ago

Some mom’s said they cried, but I didn’t.  I thought I would, but it didn’t happen.  I watched my guy walk into class, find his place and become his own.

My husband and I talked about it and why there weren’t tears.  We did that with him years ago.  When we were both locked into full time jobs and surprised by him, we weren’t prepared to have me home with him.  Those years were some of the hardest and most self-tortured of my adult existence. So when I watched that boy of mine part from me without a tear, I smiled.  It had been a long road for us both to be ok knowing we could stand without the other.

So he came home from school today.  I love picking him up & hearing him say, “Mommy!” and say goodbye to his new friends by name. I know it’s only a short time he’ll be excited to see whatever grubby condition I show up in to collect my hugs before it’s embarrassing.

We did our usual routine and he got settled in with a snack and seeing his little brother, when he caught me off guard,

“Mommy, kids in my class said my TOMS are girly.”

A little piece of me felt sick, a small piece wanted to cry, and another sliver wanted to fight a pod of five-year-olds. It took everything in me NOT to impose my own emotions on him & not to turn his sharing into something it wasn’t: a tragedy.

“How did that make you feel?” I asked

“Embarrassing,” he said tucking his chin down.

“How do you feel about your shoes?” I prodded a bit further.

“I like them. They’re blue” he stated.

“I like them, too,” I told him with confidence (I mean, I DO! I bought them! 😉 “I’m sorry they embarrassed you. That wasn’t nice to do. I’ve been embarrassed before, too, and I know it doesn’t feel so fun.”

I left it at that.

I didn’t serenade him with how horrible his classmates are (although I wanted to) – I took that one to God knowing only HE can protect that little boy when I’m not there.

I can’t make my baby’s world perfect. I can only be his safe haven.

Give your babes a hug tonight…just because.  One day, they’ll need to remember that someone back home LOVES them…

and their shoes.