Since I was a little girl, I had a big dream. While some girls wanted to be ballerinas, I wanted to be a CEO. Corporate America was where I belonged.  I wanted to own and run my own business, drive a BMW, live in a Pottery Barn home, and sip white wine by the fire alone with my cat at home each night. The picture was always the same and I can still see it in my mind’s eye.

I never really got there. Not so much the CEO type as it turns out 😉 That ultra-feminist me found the man of my dreams and started a family of my own. (The one thing I NEVER thought I would do. Did I want a family of my own? Yah, but it scared me to death!) I never thought my life would turn into wishing I could be a Stay At Home Mom. The first year of my son’s life was heart breaking to me. Anyone close to me would know I had serious battles with guilt because I wasn’t the one with him, but instead, I was in an office helping make ends meet.

I think I heard it all when I want back into Corporate America: “You should just quit and make it work.”  “You only have this small window of time to be with your children!”  and then there were the subtle books that came through the mail like, “In Praise of the Stay At Home Mom” by Dr. Laura (sidenote: she worked through parenting right??).  The thing was, we couldn’t “quit and make it work” on one income in California–still can’t. Getting the feedback from women who lived in a different era than the present and had the freedom to make choices like being at home felt like getting the wind knocked out of me every.single.time I heard it!

But here I am today–two sweet baby boys, one incredible husband, and found myself in a place of being laid off 7 days after returning to Corporate America after my maternity leave this year. I cried. (Damn hormones) but ultimately, the Dream came back: it was time for me to be my own CEO. Was I going to drive that BMW and live in that Pottery Barn perfect house? Nope. What I have now in reality is better than that dream. I don’t want a car my kids will give me an aneurysm when they throw up & I don’t want a house full of white that Type A me will be living on edge over. It was time for me to be the Do-Dreamer…to DO the Dream I’ve always had inside but do it the way it fits my life now. So  here I am as one little mama trying to make ends meet & smiling while doing it! Does it scare me? SURE! It also feels like if I don’t try this, I won’t be able to look at myself and know: life isn’t about throwing pennies in wishing wells, it’s about jumping in the fountain & going in after them!

What are YOUR Dreams?