Here’s the thing about Crazy, you can’t put miles between you and it, you can’t close it out, you can’t silence it, and you definitely can’t control it; Crazy just finds you.

Crazy is the person you don’t have time for, Crazy makes you question your self, Crazy makes you crazy and the only thing you can do about it is surrender it to God.

So I’m sitting here saying the words: Surrender it to God, Allegra, but there’s an emotional synapse between my head and my heart.

I KNOW He can fix it. I know He can take it, , mold it into what He wants but I’m still at the wheel clinging to it.

I’m so busy not realizing I don’t truly BELIEVE Crazy can change that I’m telling the Artist I’d rather stare at the clay than watch Him shape it.

A question was posed to me the other day: If Crazy is crazy then shouldn’t that make it easier to live in the truth?

It should.

It really should.

But I want to out-truth the lies. I want to justify the right. I want to shout out the honesty until something clicks and Crazy gets it.

I guess this makes me as crazy as Crazy is.

So God, I’m begging you in this moment to HELP me release this.

I want to see the scar for what it is: HEALED, illness removed, a badge of mercy where darkness no longer lives.

1,000 miles, 31 years, and daily baptismal cleansing to BE more than Crazy.

Crazy can’t live here….